Proxy be or not to be

Proxy be or not to be…

Why does the New Year begin in the dark? It is another date, that begins, unlike the conventional Bengali new year, when the sun is still hours away.  A Pope in 1582 introduces it. It is a solar calendar that begins when the sun cannot be seen. The lunar calendar or the Hijri Qamari calendar is based on the lunar positions. The Chinese calendar begins on the first day of a month when an ‘astronomical’ new moon occurs in a particular time zone.  The hindu calendar, begins generally on the day after the full moon or the new moon. Others depend on the first sighting of a lunar crescent.  So, the new year sway, spin, prance and dance to music is essentially a western concept that we religiously follow.  And we celebrate before midnight, going into a crescendo at zero hour and then trailing on till the early hours. Who loves the night? The night prowlers.  And a few who can afford to or is forced to sleep in the day and exert themselves at night.  And of course our dear owl. One that safe guards our ‘Laxmi’ at night. I am not aware of many creatures that really appreciate the dark world. Except of course one particular cold night when the human species accelerate to a euphoric explosion.  And that night the very specials gather to listen to proxy music. Here, the music is a proxy for something that heightens the spirits.

Alison Steele, who came to be known as the ‘nightbird’ was the RJ of a FM station that introduced Rock music only at night. Dancing to music at home or listening to music in the car can be fun. But, being induced by virtual fake music is another. We know of MASH. There are the computer guys who cut and paste very short segments from popular tracks to create a mash… music of a different kind – not all legal.

And to make it all sound legal, only some specific company CDs get promoted on this special nite. The amount spent to stimulate the so called CDs often cross the annual budgets of music companies. We hear of CDs going out of market. The gramophone company even closed the Music World, a popular musical rendezvous on park street. Digital downloads are the in thing. But these ‘nites’ promote, often just one CD that the company has in its complete repertoire with about 12 to 14 tracks. These too are compilations and hardly original. 

Do music arrangers, singers and musicians and music directors run to these nites? No. They hardly do.  Who goes? The bold and the beautiful, the opulent and the rich. They hop, leap and jump and when the lights dim, a quick and not so quick kiss to the partner or more. All high in spirits.

The spirits flow endlessly supported by the CD companies. The fault-finder public performance and rights institutions also levitate in the sparkles and hang in the dreamy buoyancy.  

Just out of curiosity, I check the CD of what the 100 pipers offer. It does not offer the traditional pipes from Scotland. Or the tavern strains…

Wi' a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a', 
Wi' a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a', 
We'll up an' gie them a blaw, a blaw 
Wi' a hundred pipers, an' a', an' a'.

Then I search some popular on-line stores. The net has this for me:

‘The SEAGRAM'S 100 PIPERS - PURE MUSIC IS OUT OF STOCK.’

Only Amazon shows ‘one’ in stock. I placed an order. The mail, a couple of days later says Sorry, it is out of stock. Your money is being refunded.

So much so for the pipers!

Then it is the turn of Chivas Regal music CD. Going by the number of bare feet in a news paper, I thought this ought to be the groovy one. I again check the net. I must be completely out of tune with the present happenings. What I find goes above my head.

‘Chivas Regal 
A Journey To Music 
When You Know 
This compilation (P)(C) 2000 Minos-EMI S.A. 
07/2000 A special project by Minos-EMI S.A. 
Fabelsound 2000 
Not for sale 
Made in Greece’

Very well. Let me try another.

This time the Seagrams Royal Stag music CD.

Hmmm… I must be a fool. I just cannot break the jinx.It says “Royal Stag Mega Music (AUDIO-CD)

By Various 

R 399

R 347

[ R 52 Off ]

Out of Stock.

So much in demand indeed!

Am tired by now. Let me try the Black Dog sparkling water.

Ah!  Success at last.

Black Dog Sparkling Water 250 ml Can

Rs 30.00

Availability:

In Stock.

But this is also there:

Black Dog Sparkling Water! Pfffttt!

What does it mean?

There must be something wrong in me. In college life, I had friends giving proxy for me. In modern life, it is known as the surrogate. If these so called surrogates can hog so much space on newspapers, why not the real one? Paid news or unpaid! Who are we protecting?

My friend’s son loves McDonalds. The yellow and red somehow acts like a great pull. Everytime he passes one, he would insist the car to stop. Until the day he saw McDowell Mohun Bagan. ‘Not only the colours are wrong, even the spelling is wrong! Must tell the school teacher.’

His father, has a red plastic card on his laptop bag. It is the Kingfisher frequent flier tag. When he tries to remove it, the son protests. Why are you against a bird? My friend tells him that the Kingfisher has stopped flying. He remembers that and then sees Kingfisher East Bengal. Lo and behold what he says. ‘Papa, the flying bird’s obituary program is on’.

 Well, am too old to understand.  Hmmm.